I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
So much rum. So many feels.
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
I enjoy the company of your penis
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
Randomize