Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
Randomize
