you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
Randomize
