dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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