Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Randomize