I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
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