the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
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