"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
