This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize
