we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
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