There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
