end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize