brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Randomize
