3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Randomize
