For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
Randomize
