why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
I DEMAND FORESKIN
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Randomize
