they need to just BURY HIM!
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
Randomize
