You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
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