The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
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