Jerry, you need to find god
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
Did you pee in the oven last night??
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize
