At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Randomize
