so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
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