Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
