i think my tv is drunk
Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
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