i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Randomize
