He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
Randomize
