And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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