Where are you?
In a non slutty way
i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
Randomize
