oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
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