I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
Randomize
