I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
Randomize
