I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
Randomize
