its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
Randomize