moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
Randomize
