I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
Randomize