quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
they need to just BURY HIM!
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
Randomize
