Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
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