Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
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