All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize
