You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
Randomize
