I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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