All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
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