And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
Fuck me I smell like cheese
Randomize
