Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
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