the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
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