My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
Randomize
