I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
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