birth control should be required to get into college
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
Randomize
