Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
Randomize
