How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
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