So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
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