you're like a bully in the Christmas story
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
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