ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
Randomize
