Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
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