Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
Sorry dude, one minute I was flirting with a bachelorette party from Dallas and the next I’m being tied to the bed by the bride
Trying to wrangle us an invite to the wedding
Randomize
