I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
Randomize
