They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
This couple is walking their pig around campus
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
Randomize
