my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
Randomize
