He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
I party with great urgency now.
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