I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
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