I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
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