I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
Randomize
