i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
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