Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
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