I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
my poor anus
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Randomize