I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Randomize
